1 Shot each time an actor slips out of his American accent.

I sat next to Carla for Thanksgiving dinner.
I passed her the salt,
I stabbed her some dark meat.

27 November, 2008

NBC is showing Hallowe'en themed figure skating which is creepier than Hallowe'en themed ANYTHING ELSE.

Because I'm mean:

Click to view

[placeholder for a piece about Dave Levey, the winner of the latest season of Hell's Kitchen, and his broken wrist as a metaphor for the inspired, willful direction our country ought to be taking]

Ann Curry doing her white-lady-slow-jam to Kings of Leon

Al Roker called the preempting of the fourth hour of the Today (bidet) show by Wimbledon coverage a "win-win."

To the tune "Yes, Jesus Loves Me"

Chorus:
Head On, apply directly to the forehead.
Head On, apply directly to the forehead.
Head On, apply directly to the forehead.
I hate your commercial, but I love your product.

There's a pain upon my brow
Don't I feel a presence: thou?
Break the seal and lift the top.
Annoint me with this cooling slop.

Chorus

I have got ( Read more... )

Before My Name is Earl started, I watched an episode of Weeds: "Last Tango in Agrestic".  In this episode Silas Botwin, being a really clingy bad boyfriend tries to keep his girlfriend, Megan, from going away to Princeton by getting her pregnant.  He accomplishes this by pricking a hole with a safety pin in one of the condoms used during their ( Read more... )

Yesterday (1564-1616)

So trivial and dim be the stage whence
spectacle trumps narrative and on speed:
we build good neighbors and a fence?
Iger’s Broadway grows cleanly like a weed.
O, what excuse will my poor Beast then find,
you say some Mary needs a line of blow?
Niel LaBute shows me the life of a mind;
That was a joke in case you did not know:

Ken ( Read more... )

The New Set

Ugly was not the word, looking at it.
Plinko and the Big Wheel are much the same.
Drew, for Sarah Silverman goes bluer,
Attired not in the Rockabilly bit:
Ties thin like a Barker’s Beauty. A shame,
Etoiles last no longer than forty. Grand
Dots consume a whole wall the color of

A lamé dress. Now: models wear sequins,

Dots: maroon ( Read more... )